“man blinker og så er tiden gået”
“You blink and then the time has passed”
Hello world! Geez, it has been sooo long since the last time I wrote one of these. I apologize for that and really do need to find the time to write one every once in a while. Not because I know how much y’all look forward to reading these haha but because it helps to sometimes write out what a person is feeling. There are a lot of random things that bring my anxiety down. Drawing or tracing in my case (concentrating to draw those straight/curvy lines precisely), sewing and creating random things, dancing or creating a dance, and trying to write this blog all take my concentration. It’s said that idle hands are the devil’s workshop, an old saying dating at least as far back as Chaucer in the twelfth century who called idle hands the devil’s tools. So, if a person is doing something decently productive with their time then they wouldn’t have time to do anything too bad.
The reason I have decided to write this one is not to lower my anxiety, although it helps, but instead it is about how time changes things. Time is one thing that can cause anyone anxiety! This past week I went to Berea College, which is where I graduated in May 2015, to see Kinetic Expressions. Kinetic Expressions is a dance concert the college puts on every year where both professors and students choreograph and dance. It really is an amazing concert to see and to be a part of! I remember joking with an old friend of mine when watching the concert my freshmen year that I, the person with two left feet and maybe have only done the chicken dance in his life…. wrong haha, was going to be in those concerts. I did participate every year I was in college except my freshman year in which I saw and got absolutely mesmerized with. When I went this year all those memories of my first time seeing it just started flooding back in. I attended Berea College for four years and then left to go to Denmark for the year. I have gone back to Berea a few times, but something is different, something just doesn’t feel right, it is an odd feeling when I go back now. The place is pretty much the same except a few new buildings, maybe a bigger parking lot but essentially it is the same. The biggest difference is well me. I have grown, others have grown, I don’t really know anyone there anymore and when I went to the dance concert, I knew maybe seven people. Two being students, who are about to graduate, who I danced with when I was there, and the others were the professors. It’s an uneasy feeling going somewhere that you feel like an outsider.
I know a lot of people have asked if I was still dancing and the answer is unfortunately no… I might do a little jig in the car while driving (don’t judge me, you do the same thing), but to be trained I have not. Why you might ask….? Well, in all honesty, I don’t have a good excuse. I work Monday through Friday getting off about 5ish everyday and then I head home or run a few errands. I know I could probably find a class in the evenings or even the weekends, but I don’t. While watching the concert though, WOW, it sure did make me miss it. I was sad when it was my last dance concert at Berea but not really because I knew I was going to be going to Denmark after the summer. I was sad when it was final performance in Denmark and Germany, but once again, not really because I literally spent an entire year in a foreign country which was awesome and I was about to go home to see my family who I hadn’t seen in what felt like forever. Seeing this Kinetic though… now that made me truly sad… It was an amazing concert, don’t get me wrong. Even though I haven’t danced in a while I could still see every step they made, the tiny mistakes being made (it happens but they continued as if there wasn’t one which is the important part), and I could feel the emotions coming from the dances and dancers. What made me sad though is I didn’t have that next adventure like I always have. Elementary school to middle school to high school to college in a different state to a freaking new country (going on a plane for the first time WOWZERS!). I have said this to so many people but after one adventure, the next one just kind of happened, so maybe what I’m currently doing (working, being an adult) is my “next adventure”. I was thanked for coming to the concert, for driving 2.5 to 3 hours to see maybe an hour to hour and half concert. I even got called old HAHA. I think I knew what my first dance teacher felt when she saw me performing in Denmark. She literally saw my first attempt at dancing and watched me grow, progressing, getting better every time. I saw the two students and remembered their first Kinetic and I almost shed a tear seeing how much they grew. They were good dancers back then but my how time changes things. They impressed me and am very thankful for that.
I have really debated on writing this and posting. I have had this written since about two days after I saw the concert but I haven’t posted. So many things are changing… so many people are changing. And maybe, no cares about reading this but if you made to the end thank you. I really, truly appreciate it. What does my future hold??? In a blink of an eye… time flies by.